The Record of What Actually Happened
Six surveys in thirty-four years went looking for a keel and found basalt. A lidar scan has now mapped every centimetre of the formation, and it is not a hull. It is an anatomically exact, 1,640-to-1 replica of the female anatomy — and every one of those surveys spent its time in the middle and never went up to the top.
A two-year study of 412 Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioners finds that those who post about their training 16 or more times a month are promoted roughly 32 percent faster than those who train in silence.
Scan data obtained by Reality Daily puts a fleshlight-shaped object one hundred and four metres beneath the Great Pyramid — with no shaft above it — and the two explanations offered on the record are that it is not of human manufacture and that the pharaohs used it to crank hog.
A sixty-one-page preprint puts heterosexuality on a 1.4-megabase stretch of chromosome eight, four hundred and four orders of magnitude past the significance threshold, and its own lead author has spent the week begging people not to call it the straight gene.
Lex Fridman is crossing the Mediterranean by chartered yacht toward an object one hundred and four metres below the Great Pyramid, and has not said how he intends to cross the last ninety metres of limestone.
A meter on the fence line has pushed 398 million gallons back into the public main over fourteen months, the air downwind of the campus reads cleaner than the air upwind, nineteen residents’ age panels came back low, and no party will sign for any of it.
Researchers say the Harley-Davidson roar triggers an involuntary reflex in some people; a Columbus warehouse supervisor is pleading it after eleven died at a red light, and nobody will send the paper the study or the sound.
JWST detected an interstellar object at 41 astronomical units; the telescope cannot resolve its shape, the shape came from a rendering, and nobody will say who wrote the brief the renderer worked from.
