The Record of What Actually Happened
He said it in the kitchen, at 11:40 on a Tuesday night, in the tone of a man raising a practical option. This newspaper measured his actions per minute at forty-one. The professionals he proposes to compete against sustain three hundred and forty, practise sixty hours a week in a house in Seoul, and are mostly finished by twenty-five because they started at thirteen.
The claim was made at 3:14 p.m. on Tuesday, 2 September, in the dismissal zone at Willow Run Elementary, by a nine-year-old, to an audience of nine-year-olds, and it was not original. What makes it worth five weeks is that it appears to be true — and that the man it is about would very much prefer we stopped.
Nineteen offices were asked what the word long in long Covid is measured against, and the only complete answer came from a payroll clerk in Bakersfield who has the condition and named it herself in 2020.
In a fifty-one-minute broadcast sermon, John Hagee says he was “crankin hog all crazy style” and “slurpin down lean” eleven separate times, adds a different admission to each, and does not speak one sentence of standard English in the whole broadcast.
